The Epidemic of Urgency How Societal Expectations Are Driving Us to Burnout
By Carly McCormack
In session after session, I see a common thread woven into the lives of the clients I work with: a relentless urgency to keep moving, producing, achieving. It’s a silent epidemic, not of a virus or a disease, but of urgency. And it’s making us sick in quieter, more insidious ways.
Where Did All This Pressure Come From?
Modern society rewards speed and productivity. We live in a culture where rest feels lazy, slow progress feels like failure, and anything less than constant optimization can feel like falling behind. We’re encouraged to “hustle,” to “grind,” to “be our best selves”, all before breakfast!! There’s an ever-present pressure to move faster, do more, and achieve it all now.
This pressure isn’t just reserved for the workplace. I see it in students feeling panicked about college by age 14. I see it in new parents feeling like they’re already failing. I see it in adults questioning their worth if they’re not constantly “working on themselves.” The finish line keeps moving, and we’re sprinting toward it without stopping to ask: Why? Or at what cost?
The Emotional Toll of Always Being ‘On’
That persistent sense of urgency? It’s exhausting. It manifests as anxiety, burnout, guilt, shame, and disconnection from the present moment. I hear people say:
- “I can’t relax – I feel like I should be doing something.”
- “If I don’t respond immediately, I’ll disappoint someone.”
- “There’s always more I should be doing.”
When urgency becomes a baseline state of being, our nervous systems never get a chance to power down. We live in survival mode, even when we’re safe. Over time, this chronic stress chips away at our mental and physical health. We become irritable, distracted, emotionally numb, or hopeless, not because we’re broken, but because we’re overburdened.
Urgency Is Not the Same as Importance
Some things in life are urgent. This includes, but is not limited to, true emergencies, deadlines, and time-sensitive tasks. However, most of what we label “urgent” is actually just noise dressed in panic. We’ve internalized the belief that everything is important, and everything is now. But when everything feels like a fire, we burn ourselves out trying to put it all out.
What If We Slowed Down On Purpose?
Slowing down is a radical act in a world obsessed with speed. But healing often happens in the pause. When we slow down:
- We listen to our needs instead of overriding them.
- We connect more deeply with others and ourselves.
- We remember that life is meant to be lived, not just managed.
Therapy is one of the few spaces where urgency isn’t rewarded. In fact, I often invite my clients to sit in silence, take a breath, and let themselves not know for a moment. That pause — uncomfortable at first — is where self-awareness grows and change begins.
How Do We Begin to Shift This?
If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. Here are a few gentle ways to begin reclaiming your peace from urgency:
- Notice the stories you tell yourself about time, productivity, and worth. Who taught you those? Are they serving you?
- Challenge urgency-driven thoughts. Ask: Is this truly urgent, or is it just uncomfortable to pause?
- Practice doing one thing slowly. Drink your coffee without your phone. Walk without rushing. Let one thing be enough.
- Set boundaries around response times. You don’t have to be instantly available to everyone, all the time.
- Rest without earning it. You don’t have to be exhausted to deserve a break.
The urgency epidemic didn’t start with you, and it won’t end with you. But by choosing to slow down, set boundaries, and prioritize well-being over productivity, you begin to model a different way of living, not only for yourself, but for those around you.
In therapy, and in life, I believe in the power of the pause. It is not a weakness. It’s a way back to yourself.
